Saturday, November 1, 2008

A time for reflection

This entire weekend was a time for self-reflection.

A few years ago I came upon this Dalai Lama quote and it states "As human beings we all want to be happy and free from misery.We have learned that the key to happiness is inner peace.The greatest obstacles to inner peace are disturbing emotions such as anger and attachment, fear and suspicion,while love and compassion, a sense of universal responsibility are the sources of peace and happiness." I find much wisdom is in this statement. "Love and compassion, a sense of universal responsibility are sources of peace and happiness..." bring inner peace. I found a sense of inner peace the other day at the cemetery.

The other day I went to the cemetery which my Tita Louraine is buried. (Tita is a tagalog (Filipino) word which means 'aunt'). On occasion, I visit her to gain clarity and honor my mom's love for her. She was a fascinating and lovely lady and a great karaoke singer as well. She was a teacher and was a woman of Catholic faith. It seemed to me that her younger sisters and brothers all loved her.

Not many people know love and I'm not sure if I do. I do know and understand my mom's love for her oldest sister. My family and I spent many late nights with Tita Louraine. Even after 15 hours at work, my mom would ask me to accompany her to the hospice place and help her bathe her sister. (My mom is a nurse manager.) Of course, I obliged (along with my immediate family) for 10 months. I don't share this with many people but it seemed she had found her inner peace. According to one of my titas, she was reciting the rosary with her and after the last prayer Tita Louraine died.

Anyway, so one of the reasons I am writing is that while I was at the cemetery, I decided to walk around. I read a few headstones and I found one I knew. The headstone belonged to this girl who died at my high school. I did not know her personally but a blanket of sadness just hit me. A decade later, she's just a distant memory to some. I couldn't believe how much time had actually passed. Who knows who she could have become? So many life events can happen in 10 years. People go to college, get married, have kids, return for more school, lose jobs, have quarter-life crises, etc etc.

After I graduated from college, I felt like I was walking around without purpose. Sure, everyone has a purpose, right? All I knew was that when I found my passion, I would know. I met a few fantastic people who helped me on my way. Then I found it~my inner peace (career-wise)~the perfect me~a librarian.

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